Steps to maturity

The Excellent Wife - Chapter 6: Part II

Peace says that basically the wife’s role is to glorify her husband and to fulfill her role as a ‘helper’ (p.54) she went on to give 18 ways that we can do that see below. If you are stuck on the ‘glorifying’ her husband part, I found this on her website at http://www.marthapeace.com/qa/questions.html

Q: What does it mean in 1 Corinthians 11:7-9 that the "woman is the glory of man"? I thought we were to only give God glory.

A: In the sense of worship and praising His worth as the only true God and our Creator, certainly we are only to give glory to God. In the sense of honoring another person or helping them to succeed in their tasks, we can certainly give glory to man. For instance, a child who honors their parents through respectfully obeying is giving their parent glory as others notice. Also a wife who honors her husband through joyful, respectful submission and helping him has the attitude of glorying in the role that God has given her. She is in that way, as Paul wrote, "the glory of man" (1 Corinthians 11:7)

After I read through this chapter, I though that I should read it again with my husband. We often discussed who is responsible for what in our home and marriage but I came to the sad realization that we never discussed or looked into what roles God’s ask us to be responsible for as husband and wife. Christ is an important member in a marriage and knowing what God’s expect of each of you, is a great beginning. I read this chapter to my husband because I believe we both need to know what God’s ask of each of us. As a Christian I am accountable to God and as God’s role for me is to be my husband’s helper, I am also accountable to my husband. On page 55, Peace provided a list of “18 ways a wife may be the glory of her husband”, see below. Using that as a guide my husband and I sat down and went through each one of them. I told him that, to grow in Christ in our marriage we need to be totally honest with each other (holding the last chapter on reproof in mind) I ask him to tell (evaluate) me on what I do, don’t do, what I could do differently and how we can change the things that need changing. I felt that it is very important that we are on the same page about our role. Very often we get into conflict because we have certain expectations of each other (spoken and not) and when things don’t go as we hope we start blaming and resenting the other person. I am sure this conversation is something we need to constantly revisit while calling on God each step through.

EIGHTEEN WAYS A WIFE MAY BE THE GLORY OF HER HUSBAND:

1. Ask your husband, “What are your goals for the week?”
2. Ask your husband, “How can I help you to accomplish these goals?’
3. Ask your husband, “Is there anything that I can do differently that would make it easier for you?”
4. Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking. As you fulfill your God-given responsibilities, your husband is then free to do his work.
5. Save some of your energy every day for him.
6. Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, home business, ladies’ Bible studies, etc.
7. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
8. Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
9. Do whatever you can to help him accomplish his goals. Some examples are; offer to run errands for him, organized your day to be available to help him with his projects, pray for him and make good suggestions. Give him the freedom not to use your suggestion, and do not be offended if he does not follow it.
10. Consider his work (job, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord) as more important than your own.
11. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals. Examples are; get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work having had a good breakfast, take care in recording telephone messages for him, anticipate any needs he may have in
order to attain a specific goal, and keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.
12. Consider the things that you are involved in. How do they glorify your husband? Ask his guidance.
13. Be warm and gracious to his family and friends. Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
14. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.
15. Dress in a neat and modest manner that is pleasing to your husband.
16. When your husband sins, reprove him privately and gently, always giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord.
17. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry.
18. Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey your husband.

On a side note: Keeping in mind that staying home is also work, especially with children, I would say that it is absolutely fine to work outside of the home as long as it fulfill your role and your husband and household is still taking care of. The woman of Proverb 31 did it all. Not necessary because she worked out of her home, but because she did it all to make sure that her household is well maintained. Nobody went hungry or without clothes in her house, she brought glory to her husband through what she did. She answered to God’s call on her as wife by taking care of the need of her husband and her household. I guess the key here is, don’t make your work your priority. This also include outside ministries like volunteer work at church. Always keep in mind that your husband is your first ministry.

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