Steps to maturity

The Excellent Wife: Chapter 8 Home: The wife’s domain

The first time I read this chapter, about 5 months ago, I realized that to do what God was asking of me, I needed to change 3 main things.

“A worker at home”

• “If a wife is working or is thinking of returning to work, she should examine her motives. What is it she really wants? What is her heart set on? Is it to avoid becoming a “non-person?” Is it more material things? Is it wanting to be out from under the demands of child care? None of these motives are for the glory of God. They are self serving and sinful” (p.73).

Self serving and sinful; that is where I was; at least as far as this subject was concern. All I wanted and all I can see was that job, getting that career; the think I want and need to finally become a ‘somebody’, to do something that matter, to make a change and save the world. And the more time it took for me to get that, the more anxious and angry I was getting…it was definitely an idol. God started to show me that changes begin at home, and in my home there were a lot of work to be done. God brought my attention to how I was failing (not meeting up to his task for me) my family, my husband as my first ministry and my kid, the one he has given me. As Peace says

• “Godly motives would be “learning to be content” Philippians 4:11. “gratitude to the Lord for what I have” 1 Thessalonian 5:18, and “whatever you do in thought, word, and deed, do all for the gory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

As God changed my heart desires, I began to answer his call and embark on this journey with him. Now I have fully embraced and accept my role as a “stay at home mom” and I cannot be more thankful to God for it.

The lazy wife
When I first read this chapter a while back, I knew that I was the lazy person that Peace described. I realized that I needed serious work on discipline if I am to keep a good home and serve my husband and kid. So I decided that things needed to change, I worked on a daily schedules and weekly meal plans. Lately, I have not been keeping up with my schedule but I also know that these changes take a long time to become routines. I am not discouraged; on the contrary, I am looking forward to the day I will be better at it. So far I have updated my schedule couple of times after some trials and errors. We are actually working on a different schedule now, but if you want to see what I had before scroll down my discipline previous labels/posts.

Humor corner
Speaking of house work…last weekend in my laziness, I asked my husband to help me clean the bathroom by cleaning the tub. I really don’t like cleaning that particular tub, it takes a long time and I have to get in with my whole body before I can clean it. The worst part is that no matter what I do, I never seem to get it clean enough. So few hours past, and I walked into the bathroom hoping that my husband DID clean it. My jaw dropped and I yelled out “I am jealous”. This bathroom was cleaner that I Ever, Ever, Ever seen it. It was cleaner than when we moved in. I am not exaggerating…I was amazed.
I asked him how he did it and he said he just put whole bunch of bleach in it and went to lie on the bed. Can you believe that?
So the message here is – relax in your housekeeping work, it is not going to be perfect. Ask for help when you can get it and don’t get embarrassed when your husband can do it better than you.

A loving Heart
I think keeping a good home is only ‘good’, if you do it with a loving heart. As Peace said, the wife or mother ‘sets the tone’ in the home (p.77). The moment I read this I realized that I had to let go of a lot of stuff in order to ‘feed’ the joy in heart. The most important thing is that I give love to my family regardless of the situation. I need to discipline my child with love and not anger. Whether I am angry at my husband or not, he still deserve a loving send off to work and a nice welcome home with a kiss and a hug. I want to give my child the security of a loving home, a place where he will be emotionally safe and a place where he will feel comfortable to bring his friends in. I want my husband to look forward to coming home every night no matter what is happening at home or at work. I want him to miss us when he leaves and not dread the end of the work day when he has to come home. All of these takes some time, hard work, keeping God in focus, staying in his words and praying through the day. I do my best to remember these verses during the day. I post them right next to my daily schedule as a constant reminder to keep my focus on God.

• "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men...It is the Lord Christ you are serving"-Colossians 3: 23-24

• “Sing in thankfulness in your heart to God” (as I go about my daily chores) -Colossians 3:16

• “This is the day that the Lord has made, let me rejoice and be glad in it” -Psalm 118:24

In reading this chapter again, I realized that I need to work on (p.78)

• being patient and being kind and to not be selfish,
• being a wife with a gentle and meek spirit
• not panicking at difficult circumstances
• having a complete confidence and trust in the Lord
• and staying in God’s words.

These are my prayers for the week.

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Thank you!